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Life Is An Art"Life is an art,
each and everyone an artist.
Each step a brushstroke,
Every whim an audition.
Men pass by one another
day by day to offer
tricks of the trade.
Gestures, Postures, Profiles
One could go blind,
In light of such talent.
To remain irreverent,
A catastrophe of being."
-David Grant, '07
 The Finer Things"Come in here, dear boy. Have a cigar. You're gonna go far." -Pink Floyd
"The cigar habit. It's one of the major happinesses. And so much more lasting than love, so much less costly in emotional wear and tear." -Aldous Huxley, Time Must Have A Stop
 "If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go." -Mark Twain Cellar DoorI have realized with desolate disgust and despair the degree of my degradation, of my damnation...I hug desperately at my hideous perverse pride in my own frightful fate...
The loss of my virtue, independence and self-respect is demanded by my loyalty. It's a paradox... Unless I'm lying to myself, I know well enough what he expects from me. My degradation proves my devotion. LustThe golden bait, barbed with infinite pain, fatal, fanatical mate of a poisoned body and brain. A name that leers its lecherous longing and knavery, whispers in crazing ears the secret spell of her slavery. Horror indeed intense, seduction ever intenser, swinging the smoke of sense from the bowl of a smouldering censer. Behind me, behind and above she stands, that mirror of love. Her fingers are supple-jointed; her nails are polished and pointed, and tipped with spurs of gold: with them she rowels the brain. Her lust is critical, cold; and her cheeks are pale, as she daintily picks, profane with her lips, and the teeth jagged and black beneath, pulp and blood from a nail. Dragon of lure and dread, tiger of fury and lust, the quick in chains to the dead, the slime alive in the dust, brazen shame like a flame, an orgy of pregnant pollution with hate beyond aim or name-orgasm, death, dissolution! Know you now why her eyes so fearfully glaze, beholding terrors of infamies like filthy flowers unfolding? Laughter widowed ease, agony barred from sadness, death defeated of peace, is she not madness? She waits for me, lazily leering, as moon goes murdering moon; the moon of her triumph is nearing; she will have me wholly soon. Analysed, reason is raving. Feeling, examined, is pain. Life is anguish, insane; and death is not a way out of it.
A Quote To Live By..."The joy of life consists in the exercise of one's energies, continual growth, constant change, the enjoyment of every new experience. To stop means simply to die. The eternal mistake of mankind is to set up an attainable ideal." -Aleister Crowley
Wonder of DevotionIt is the springtime of my loving - the second season I am to know. You are the sunlight in my growing - so little warmth I've felt before. It isn't hard to feel me glowing - I watched the fire that grew so low. It is the summer of my smiles - flee from me Keepers of the Gloom. Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this to. Ain't so hard to recognize - These things are clear to all from time to time. I've felt the coldness of my winter. I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us... But I know that I love you so. These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall. This is the wonder of devotion - I seek the torch we all must hold. This is the mystery of the quotient - Upon us all a little rain must fall...It's just a little rain... The Garden of The EmpressIn the fertile garden, I see the waterfall, the stream - and I see union: yin-yang, female-male, negative-positive.
My eyes gaze upwards - the first glistening point in the evening sky. Venus. And my imagination livens. Your light illuminates my vision...and forms appear everywhere. I have fertilized you with my seed, my idea, a zygote now, and I struggle for patience as I anticipate a new birth of awareness.
In the fertile garden, my soul flows forth moving amongst the petals and the dewdrops. I hear the song of the green finch and the stream that rushes from the wellspring of my subconscious.
May the waters there run clear and free, as I pray for the dissolution of any selfish debris.
The Surface of Things"We intend what is right, but we avoid the life that would make it reality." - Dallas Willard
What's the "devil" inside of me?
Crawling...
Craving...
A dribbling beast howling in the night.
I am an animal. I want to rove the wilderness searching for my other half.
But I am chained to a stone, the bondage of my refusal to see.
I am boiling instinct and I want to devour the world.
But the joke is,
I am also an angel.
I am an enigma, personified. The Inspired LifeStarlight.
How curious to see such tender glow on my lightning-struck skin...
From below the ragged cliff, I lift my gaze and see my soul reflected back to me in the evening sky,
whole and shining.
How could it be otherwise?
We fall from grace only to stare once again into the eye of "God".
I am propelled upward within the depths of my brain to the secret chamber where my beloved waits. XI. Justice & XIV. TemperanceThe pivot on which everything turns, and the sword hanging over all our heads, yet,
by a thread we are in control... Free to hack away at our stability until we teeter on the very edge of sanity.
Free to crush our neighbor and sneak away as he lies bleeding in the gutter.
Free to poison the body until it cries out in the agony of disease.
And, yet, we are free to become angels.
Burdens and blessing, the hazards of choice.
Even though by the solar heat of his breath he watches over me and slays my demons, I am still compelled to wrestle the angel.
I will not surrender to his tempering fire and the scorching of my flesh feels oh so insignificant.
But this needn't be... for surrender is sweet as he engulfs me in the consuming power of his divine fire.
I have lived the laws, heard the echoes, and climbed the mountains. So I am soaring again, spiraling upwards to new levels.
I am ready, clear - awake. And I can hardly wait for the next trial. "A Punishing Conscience"I did a simple tarot reading for myself tonight (5/19/08). After concentrating for some time I chose one card (out of a 78 card deck). The following is a description of the card I chose, The Nine of Swords. The image on the card is a distraught, sobbing figure sitting up in bed in the middle of the night. Nine Swords hang oppressively in the darkness. Key Phrase: Dark Night of the Soul. Major Obstacles: The ego is plagued with incessant fault finding; Mental anguish due to a guilty conscience; Torture, suffering, loss of sleep; The unconscious overwhelms the thoughts with blame for past deeds, causing the ego to feel disgust with itself; Self-respect is damaged; Doubt, mistrust, uncertainty. Strategy: Time is needed to allow for healing. Patience. Faith. The pain experienced in the Nine of Swords takes a long time to neutralize. Thinking continually about images of unworthiness or complaining about the rotten side of life only leads to delay in remembering truth.
"I will put my faults in proper perspective and reflect upon the many goals I have reached."
Beauty UnfoldingI open my eyes to the vision of vastness.
With knowledge I see the workings of Law.
I cleanse my temple in honor so that your eyes will see no blemish.
But, oh, how I am distracted!
I stumble into agonies, blaming the outside for my pain.
I forget that my selfish thoughts, my conniving words, my foolish actions,
were born from inner fogs deep within my brain.
Lift the veil so that I may gaze upon your splendor.
Help me to remain receptive to your wisdom, to focus my senses on Truth,
and to speak clearly into your tilting ear.
The Point of View Shifts to Growth and Transition..."Stillness, the pendulum at rest:
I am weary of the bombardments.
Tranquil,
I look at the world upside down from the peephole in my cocoon.
I hang my hopes on stars and I look ahead to the ancient ways.
The primordial rivers course through me as I silently witness the change...
Hand me the mirror."
"I feel the blade of the scythe slice through my cocoon.
Oh, the sting of liberation!
Resistance only makes the blade cut more savagely.
I hang there quietly and observe.
Soon I rise with the river waters to the sky
and my Soul descends in the rain clear and sparkling - again.
This time, however, I carved the inlets
as I listened to the Voice of the Hierophant whispering in my ear.
Wanna see my garden now?"
Seeker On The Path"I am a ray of light in search of myself...
My head aloft, I wander the Earth, a Fool.
I Chose to come here in a timeless moment of forgetfulness,
And I must refine my vision as I walk this Path of Return.
But the precipice yawns before me.
I can fall into this gaping chasm...but I know that Thy hand will steady me.
May I always remember my Divine Origin,
A pure spirit forged from Thy Holy Fire:
Poised, Vigilant, Awake-
I am now ready to overcome the obstacles that Thou must put before me."
Strip Tease By: David RothfederThis is a poem my friend "So Cal Dave" wrote. I liked it a lot...maybe you will too (?)
A) To kiss the throat of this
long... tamarack body,
dressed in sharp red leather.
She means to bruise
and leave a man black and blue;
Not the kind of girl
to hug and pick apart
the shape of CLouDS.
But that hot, biting sting,
the swing in her step and
the ruin of her ways.
That tough skin runs thin.
Her wavering ethics
are not well hidden by
your cool ways;
Her eyes say so.
Spreading her loin
for a sweet, soft surprise;
then cut to the chase.
B) You look soiled as a dog,
a slag after a long evening at work
--A greased up frog in that position.
The importance of making a living
has stolen your grace,
your layful nature
--your maturity stunted.
If there were a way to curve your ways,
I would.
Curb your frayed, mud-stained
coat of despair.
I would say to you:
"Welcome home."
Don't care anymore if the horoscope is real or not. I'm following it's advice anyways!Call it a coincidence if you want. At this point my horoscope has "hit home" way too many times to be a coincidence. Well, that's just my opinion though, and what do I know? EVERYTHING! (Nah. Truthfully, a little about a lot & a lot about a little)
If you've been thinking about seeking success in the field of publishing, Brooke, this is the time to go for it. It's also a great day to enroll in law school, a masters program or any field of higher education. Love with someone from far away could well be in the offing. At the very least, you could make a new friend from a distant state or foreign land. This should be a very satisfying day for you. Enjoy it. (I did!)
Maybe the horoscope really is real (?) ... haha... ~If you open your
eyes this morning and want nothing more than to just stay in bed and
cuddle a little longer under the sheets, know that you aren't alone. There is a sensitive warmth about the day that is making you
feel vulnerable. Make sure you surround yourself with supportive people
today. Harsh words are likely to cut deeper than usual - making you
wish you had just stayed in bed all day. You guessed it...more quotes!You'll find no "brain droppings" (good book) here today...I'm just not able to flow as well as I did in the old days. Sure, the "old days" that I'm referring to were only 2 weeks ago but I've changed just as much as most do in 2 years. Here's some quotes that inspired me, inspired me enough to put them here...Some weren't inspirational to me at all, rather appropriate for some situations of mine, which I think deserves some credit too!
* There are no accidents without intentions. * Admiration is the daughter of ignorance. * A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. * Our Greatest Glory is Not in Never Falling but Raising Everytime We Fall. * What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. * There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. * I don’t want to be a sex symbol. I would rather be a symbol of a woman, a woman who makes mistakes, perhaps, but a woman who loves and in turn, is loved. * If I can make you realize what I have realized, then we’d be perfect for each other and will never leave another. If only you would just realize what I have already realized, we’ll never need to wonder if we missed out on each other. * The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. *
Thanks for your valuable time. Please feel free to leave a comment. Only at your convenience, of course... Interested in interesting interests...Hey everybody - I hope you all (the few sad & bored souls who accidentally stumbled upon my page) like smart-ass remarks... Cuz' I'm full of them! Ok now... some things that keep me occupied enough to stay out of trouble: Answering a stupid question with an even stupider answer; ease dropping on the neighbors (Ed's cheating on his wife with his assistant and his wife is spending all his money on cocaine and the home shopping network); challenging myself to shovel food in my mouth like there's no tomorrow then proceed to move as little as possible; making up new words; making up my own meaning for words I didn't make up; and last but not least, anything and everything that involves shock value (I've seen some "interesting" facial expressions!). Of course there's other things I do to kill time, but you'll have to come back to find out... haha!!! Sucks for you...
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