I did a simple tarot reading for myself tonight (5/19/08). After concentrating for some time I chose one card (out of a 78 card deck).  The following is a description of the card I chose, The Nine of Swords. The image on the card is a distraught, sobbing figure sitting up in bed in the middle of the night.  Nine Swords hang oppressively in the darkness.  Key Phrase: Dark Night of the Soul.  Major Obstacles: The ego is plagued with incessant fault finding; Mental anguish due to a guilty conscience; Torture, suffering, loss of sleep; The unconscious overwhelms the thoughts with blame for past deeds, causing the ego to feel disgust with itself; Self-respect is damaged; Doubt, mistrust, uncertainty.  Strategy: Time is needed to allow for healing. Patience. Faith. The pain experienced in the Nine of Swords takes a long time to neutralize. Thinking continually about images of unworthiness or complaining about the rotten side of life only leads to delay in remembering truth.

 

"I will put my faults in proper perspective and reflect upon the many goals I have reached."

 

 

I open my eyes to the vision of vastness.

With knowledge I see the workings of Law.

I cleanse my temple in honor so that your eyes will see no blemish.

 

But, oh, how I am distracted!

I stumble into agonies, blaming the outside for my pain.

I forget that my selfish thoughts, my conniving words, my foolish actions,

were born from inner fogs deep within my brain.

 

Lift the veil so that I may gaze upon your splendor.

Help me to remain receptive to your wisdom, to focus my senses on Truth,

and to speak clearly into your tilting ear.

 

 

"Stillness, the pendulum at rest:

I am weary of the bombardments.

Tranquil,

I look at the world upside down from the peephole in my cocoon.

 

I hang my hopes on stars and I look ahead to the ancient ways.

The primordial rivers course through me as I silently witness the change...

 

Hand me the mirror."

 

 

"I feel the blade of the scythe slice through my cocoon.

 

Oh, the sting of liberation!

Resistance only makes the blade cut more savagely.

I hang there quietly and observe.

 

Soon I rise with the river waters to the sky

and my Soul descends in the rain clear and sparkling - again.

 

This time, however, I carved the inlets

as I listened to the Voice of the Hierophant whispering in my ear.

 

Wanna see my garden now?"

 

"I am a ray of light in search of myself...

 My head aloft, I wander the Earth, a Fool.

I Chose to come here in a timeless moment of forgetfulness,

And I must refine my vision as I walk this Path of Return.

But the precipice  yawns before me.

I can fall into this gaping chasm...but I know that Thy hand will steady me.

May I always remember my Divine Origin,

A pure spirit forged from Thy Holy Fire:

Poised, Vigilant, Awake-

I am now ready to overcome the obstacles that Thou must put before me."